(Well, I suppose that person has to be willing to marry – so I guess we aren’t completely free.) And thus, you are perfectly within your rights to exclude any persons, or group of persons, whose life experiences you don’t believe would be a good match for yours.
Many single Catholics are reluctant to date divorced men and women who haven’t received annulments from the Church.
My friend Melissa recently stopped dating a guy because he's divorced. She wants her guy pure—no festering resentments, no messy attachments to another woman, no failed model of marriage to replicate or rebel against. My own divorce was a liberation leaving me with a minimal set of emotional baggage to carry onto my next romantic flight.
I wanted a man whose heart was as unsullied by the muck of botched love as mine and who had no links to unsavory situations or people.
"While some women may consider it a liability, being a divorced dad is a big plus for me.
All things being equal, I prefer a divorced dad to someone who's never been married any day.
It’s a horribly scary feeling, and I find myself feeling so awful for what the person is about to go through-surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, pain, stress, exhaustion, losing their hair, losing their breasts and the worst: fear.
But unfortunately, in this monumental effort to pour oneself into romantic collaboration, lots of married folk completely abandon the person they were before slipping on the gold band. The life of any party, Daryl had a brazen, often raunchy sense of humor, a killer CD collection and a legion of adoring friends. Not only did his pals hardly ever see him (his wife didn't like him having lady friends), but lots of the activities and personality quirks that made Daryl unique went MIA. It was time to be "tamed."Daryl rearranged his identity and life to be what his partner wanted and to "make the relationship work." His friends barely recognized him. Once in the thick of things, his options were to continue inhabiting this disfigured version of his former self or turn to his spouse and say, "I want to be me again and I want you to be you."Or call it quits.
My friend asked me, “Can you imagine having breast cancer and not even having a partner to help you through it?
” This got me thinking, do I feel sorry for the girl in this regard? What I mean by that is, I truly believe that having the WRONG partner by your side during an illness is much worse than having no partner at all. A couple things: First of all, this is not a terminal illness.
I always say that no one NEEDS a man (or a woman) and I believe that goes for illness, as well. Secondly, she will find out what this guy is made in a split second. In other words, she can’t lose, but she has to be upfront.
Now, if you have an amazing spouse who wants to take care of you and support you during an illness, then that is a blessing. But, a spouse who can’t handle it—who is panicky or gets angry or even cheats as a way to cope isn’t good for anyone. Furthermore, she should continue to date (if this guy walks.) I have a friend who met her now husband in a Starbucks 20 years ago while 8 months pregnant with her ex-husband’s child! I will be wishing this woman all the best for a quick recovery and great health moving forward.